Reflections
Reflections
This summer marked 10 years since I started learning to surf *I'm still learning!
I caught my first real wave on a Warren Thompson longboard, they say you never forget your first wave, and that you will forever chase that feeling. I agree. That moment is etched into your being. The pure glide, the trim, the feeling of flying. Tapping into something magic, a fluke that dissolves in an instant, yet lasting an eternity. Time stands still. The Essence of being totally in the moment. There is nothing on earth like it.
Reflecting on this time after experiencing such deep loss, has been somewhat healing. Or revealing.
Surfing has been my greatest teacher. It has been the most challenging and humbling of teachers. But also one of the most rewarding.
It has shown me the very depths of my being...
My fears, my doubts, my insecurities, my self-criticism... incessant anxiety... all of it. It brings it all up to the surface. It has taught me to keep paddling out, instead of giving into the reaction to flee. It has taught me how to calm my pounding heart and fearful breath. The rewards are always worth it. Learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Surfing also given me inexplicable joy and the most memorable times of my life. I could fill pages of a book with peak moments.
Surfing has given me a sense of belonging that I never knew I needed. The concept of community has always been important to me , and yet it wasn't solidified or truly understood until very recently. Sitting in circle with "my people" , completely held in that mutual respect and love. Hands and hearts intertwined. I see you and I am seen. Kinship. I was moved to my very core. Salty tears mixed with sweet smiles . Life hasn't been the same since, and never will again.
Moving together with the gentle lull of the water. Like a mother rocks her child. I have met some of the most impactual and cherished friends through surfing. I have met myself.
They say that surfing is the perfect metaphor for life and I would have to agree.
The elation, the frustration... some days you can't find your feet, other days you fly.
You never know what's on the horizon, you never know what life may bring.
You're never guaranteed anything.
And surfing or "being a surfer" (whatever that means?!) Is, of course, so much more than the time we spend in the water and riding waves... it's the life that revolves around it. The shared stoke... it's the daily surf checks, rolling into the carpark with anticipation, the deliberation at the lookout, the gathering around pots of rice and lentils, the foam dust and intoxicating smell of resin that you drink in with the excitement of new boards being birthed. I'm going to miss that smell... I'm going to miss a lot of things...
Some people find medicine in the mountains, some find it in the rivers, lakes, deserts, bush, forests... for me it's the sea... I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to call the ocean home .
As waves of grief wash over me, I am reminded of of the love that fuels the grief, and that's a beautiful thing.
Em xx